That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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