after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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