Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
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