What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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