Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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