I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I wish life had little blips of pornography
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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