Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
