Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
