marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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