Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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