i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Just pee around me
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
