never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
