I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
