And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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