I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
home. puking in laundry basket.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
