Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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