We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
