i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize