Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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