I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
