3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
