Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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