He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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