He had one of those small greek statue penises
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
