We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize