girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
