Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
