2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
