my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
