Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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