i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He shit in the fireplace
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