so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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