See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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