He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
