please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
