You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
