nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
