You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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