I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
