I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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