No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
