im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
