my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Randomize
