I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Non-Jews are for practice
i already hear my dad disowning me
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
