He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
