Whod you bang
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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