I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Randomize