apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
