She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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