We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
