i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
