I CAN MOONWALK!
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize