4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
