you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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